A Confession: My Lunch Was Fluff!

Here's another school lunch remembrance from Foodgasm's PR and Social Media specialist, Marlena Riddell

In an attempt to heighten my independence and maturity level, my mom decided, at the ripe age of eight, that I was worthy of packing my own lunch. I did not rise to the occasion. My lunch contained so much sugar that a diabetic’s leg would detach by simply catching a glimpse of its contents.

My obsession with Fluffernutter, aka “fluff,” was ridiculous. For those who are unfamiliar, fluff is a marshmallow spread which, in 1990, was a cement-like goop that always ripped through Wonder Bread. A mangled peanut butter and fluff sandwich was always the star of my hot-pink lunch satchel. The supporting cast that followed was most definitely not on the food pyramid.

Thanks to Little Debbie and Hostess, I always had a sugar bomb in the form of two logs, a pink ball or a spongy, textured something. Makes me question why they call her Little Debbie; although, I gather calling her “Deb the Obese” doesn’t have the same marketing sparkle. Skinny Cheetos or good ‘ol fashioned Fritos were usually packed as well. C’mon, you gotta have some salt with that sugar!

Now, I wasn’t a complete slob; my lunch did contain some nutritional value. I loved grapes. I actually still love grapes but I prefer them fermented and in a glass. I would maybe have a handful of them and then would whip the rest at a boy I liked or whoever pissed me off on that particular morning. Also, I did get some vitamin C from my Ecto Cooler Hi-C juice box. I’m not even going to knock Ecto Cooler. I wish I had some now. It’s delicious.

It’s pretty jarring realizing you probably didn’t have a nutritional lunch for the majority of your young life. Even if my mom had packed me a nutritional lunch, I probably wouldn’t have eaten it. I’m not sure if it was my eight-year-old palate or lack of food education. Probably a little bit of both. It’s nice to see nutritional awareness in the lunchroom is on the rise these days, but the government still considers ketchup a vegetable. American youth may still be screwed.

Did you pack your lunch, too? What sort of things did you bring? Were you choices as ridiculous as mine? Love to hear some feedback.